Lots of things have been in flux lately and, consequently, I haven't had the spare time to do a lot of the things I've been hoping to do for a long time—chiefly among them updating this blog with something everyday.
Part of the problem has been work. I've been taking on a lot of new projects, training people and solving problems (but, unfortunately, not solving the problem of doing that in just 40 hours a week).
I think the bigger issue has come from an accident involving one of my closest friends Kyle. He'd been a driving force behind a lot of my creative writing, crazy projects and was always there whenever I got a crazy idea for us to do (including when I got the genius idea to "commandeer" a fire hydrant—which we did successfully). In late September, Kyle was hit by car on his walk home from his job at Universal Studios in Los Angeles at about 02:00. He sustained serious injuries including: a collapsed lung, a subdural hematoma and an injured C-6 vertebra. He's been in a coma since the accident.
I've been wondering how to use this experience for something, not just for me but for him. I've thought a lot about how we're not guaranteed time any longer than the second that just past. I've thought about all of his fabulous writing. All of his stories that other people would never read or films that wouldn't get produced or the other crazy projects we'd most likely never be able to work on together. I've thought a lot about how to honor his memory by continuing the craft we've both loved so much, but I fear I'll never be able to write something which even approaches his wit and ability to create intricate and touching characters that readers and viewers instantly feel a connection with.
I've thought a lot, too, about how I should cherish the people in my life more. I went almost two weeks without talking to Kyle before the accident. There are so many other stories I wanted to tell him and ideas I wanted to get his thoughts on, but I'll probably never have the chance. I go and visit his girlfriend Megan at her work just about every weekend to check up on her. Despite all of our conversations I can't begin to grasp how she must feel about it all; which leaves me wondering about my relationship with Amanda. Our lives as we thinking of them and where we hope they'll go could be irreparably changed at any moment.
I've done a lot of research as well: it turns out there's a scale of consciousness. Your average Joe is a 14 on the scale of consciousness whereas a one on the consciousness scale is a completely brain dead. Supposedly Kyle is somewhere between a six and an eight. No one knows how close he'll get to 14 as he goes through therapy, all we hear is that "It will take time."
So, I stopped by Megan's work today, as I usually do on Saturdays, to make sure she was doing okay. I've been wondering for awhile now how long she would hold onto the Kyle that we used to know—the man she has dated for the last four years—but it wasn't really my business to inquire about it. Today she brought it up for the first time and I'm not sure what to make of it. She asked me what I thought about the situation and if I thought she was being "stupid".
The only thing I could think to tell her was that I couldn't lend any thought about the duration of time she should hold on, but that she should do whatever she felt was right. "Kyle would want you to be happy, whatever that means."
And with those words I came out of my own coma – the creative coma I've been in since this happened. Kyle would want me to be happy, whatever that means.
I just need to keep writing. Keep trying. Success or not, that's what Kyle would want of me—that and nothing more.